Englands World Cup 2014 Squad

This picture was printed in the Daily Mail in 2007 and predicts England's world cup squad for the 2014 World Cup. If ever you needed proof that the Daily Mail are full of horse shit, then look no further. What a baffling array of woefully poor football players this team consists of. I will give them the benefit of the doubt on Theo Walcott who will definitely be in the squad in Brazil, but is by no means guaranteed to start

This picture is pretty self-explanatory, but I do have a couple of questions to ask the author of this article. Firstly WHERE IS WAYNE ROONEY?! Surely, having seen the rise of Wayne Rooney since his debut, even a retarded cocker spaniel could see that at 28, he would be 'quite important' to England. I also struggle to see how Michael Johnson could ever be conceived as being better than Steven Gerrard and why Ashley Cole isn't still in there.

2007 is a year that a lot of people in football will want to regret. Portsmouth will no doubt regret signing John Utaka. Liverpool will regret signing Andriy Voronin and Man Utd were prolific and definitely regret signing Anderson, Nani and Owen Hargreaves. I suspect, someone at the Daily Mail wish they'd pulled the plug on this as well/

World Cup 2014 Draw

It has just been announced that England will play Uruguay, Costa Rica and Italy in the Group stages of next years World Cup. All over my Twitter feed and Facebook timeline are people saying: 

"England might as well book the plane home now"

Frankly, these people have seen the names Uruguay and Italy and proverbially shit themselves. England are more than capable of topping that group. Whether they will or not is frankly another matter but we'll wait and see on that one. I want a bit of "this is our year" positivity. 

Firstly, I think Italy present a far bigger threat that Uruguay to England, despite all this talk of "OMFG South American teams!!!". Think back to the Euro's last year, we lost to Italy in a shite game where neither team did very much. In horrendously hot and humid Manaus at 2am GMT, noone is going to fancy that one. Italy will be just as annoyed with the group as us, and we certainly shouldn't fear them. 

As for the Uruguayans, did noone watch the Confederations Cup in Brazil not long ago? Uruguay were utter shite, and I mean that politely. Look down their teamsheet and you'll see 3 stand-out names; Forlan, Cavani & a certain Luis Suarez. Forlan is well past it and I personally think Edinson Cavani is grossly over-rated. As for Suarez, all we need is Stevie G to run through him in the last Liverpool training session before he goes. If not, chances are he will be suspended for biting a black pensioner in Toxteth anyway. 

Then when we come away from Group D top with 7 points, we'll have a favourable draw in the second round with Ivory Coast probably being the bookies favourite. Like I said, a bit of English positivity please.

I actually rather like the draw. Group G will be great to watch but for me Group B wins it. The long awaited rematch of the horribly ugly 2010 World Cup Final will be a great watch. Something tells me Howard Webb might not get that gig.

Fuck that haters. Come on England