Saturday 28 September 2013

Pains of Manchester

I am writing this on the night of the 28th September 2013, shortly after David Moyes' Man Utd lost at home against West Brom. This leaves them 12th with 7 points after 6 games including 3 losses against todays opposition, Liverpool and Man City. This underlines a thoroughly underwhelming start to life in the fast lane for David Moyes and has a lot of United fans concerned as to just what the post-Fergie era has in-store. 

I must admit, when news broke of Sir Alex's retirement, I was desperately against the appointment of David Moyes. My (slightly ambitious) best case scenario was José Mourinho taking over and bringing a certain Cristiano Ronaldo over with him. On paper, David Moyes had a fantastic track record at Everton, but his lack of 'big time' management, as well as no European experience worried me. As it was, he was picked and I tried to be optimistic.

If I was David Moyes, on day 1, I would have turned to the board and said:

"Listen, it is VITAL that post-Fergie, we prove to everyone that this club is still at the top of the world and to do that, I want to be strong in the transfer market and make at least 1 marque signing. I want to stamp my authority on this team and this season."

Instead, we got half-arsed attempts to sign Thiago Alcantara and Gareth Bale, as well as embarrassing pursuits of Leighton Baines (WHO THEY DO NOT NEED), Cesc Fabregas and Ander Herrera. This left them with Marouane Fellaini secured bang on deadline and the farcical summer display left us a laughing stock.

On the pitch, pre-season results were pretty terrible, but noone really read much into that. In the Community Shield, the not-so-shocking win over relegated Wigan and decent display away at Swansea in the first week left us thinking 'maybe we'll be ok'. But since then, both performances and results have been thoroughly unacceptable. Part of the blame lies with the players, the selection and the management. 

We looked clueless against a defensive Liverpool side, posed no threat to Chelsea at home and looked like a pub team at the Etihad.

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So now I'm going to name and shame the players I have issues with, as well as praise the few (very few) that deserve to wear the famous red shirt. If a player isn't mentioned, it's a positive thing.

Phil Jones & Chris Smalling

These two are grouped together because they are exactly the same. I think they are 2 talented English young players with great potential. However, neither of them are anything more than incompetent at right-back. Phil Jones is the worst right back in the league. The boy can't even pass, and every time he crosses the ball I feel like kicking an orphan child to death in rage. Please get well soon Rafael.

Anderson & Nani
Sir Alex signed Anderson and Nani signed back in 2007 and in my opinion have both proved to be completely wasted potential and are now useless. On the plus side, Fergie recognised this and already penciled their names on the team sheet under the heading 'BENCH'. Moyes has recently given Nani a new contract and he is firmly in the 1st team setup, something I despise. I would have sold them both in the summer and delighted to recoup anything around £15mil between them.

Ryan Giggs & Tom Cleverley
It pains me to say this but Giggsy's time is finally up. I am pleased to see that he is involved in the coaching side of the team but he's no longer good enough to play at this level. Unfortunately for Cleverley, he was and probably will never be good enough to play at this level. He contributes very little next to Michael Carrick and is a waste of a shirt. He is part of the reason I don't mind that we have signed Fellaini, as noone can do as little as Cleverley.

Wayne Rooney
I will openly admit that I was wrong about Rooney. In the summer after he said he wanted to go, I said 'fuck it, let him go, hes been overrated for 2 years.' Since then, he has found his hunger and passion that I hadn't seen since 2010. The only success Moyes has had this season so far is his handling of this situation.

Shinji Kagawa
Please play him Moyes, please fucking play him.

Actual quality players - De Gea, Vidic, Evra, Carrick, Valencia, Rooney, van Persie

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Man Utd will not win the Premier League this season. I said that at the start. I just pray that Moyes & co figure out what the fuck they're doing soon because 7 years of this will ruin Manchester United Football Club.

Sidenote: So far, La Liga is a better league to watch than the Premier League this year


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